When we don’t tell the truth, we inherently create places in our lives where we are not or cannot be fully ourselves. We are often not related and certainly not self-expressed with the person or group with whom we are not telling the truth with, and if that person we are not being truthful with is ourselves, we may experience ourselves as being stuck, diminished self-esteem, unrelated, suppressed, unfulfilled, resentful, etc. And sometimes not telling the truth keeps us unhappy in our marriage (or in an unhappy marriage), in a jobs we don’t like, in situations we are not happy with, etc.
Often we convince ourselves that it is best to not tell the truth. I suppose there may be some cases where this makes sense, but mostly I find that we avoid the truth when we are afraid of rejection or confrontation, but that we know it is the best way forward. So ask yourself, are you acting from fear or are you acting from a place of your own integrity?
When I work with people, I work with them on having a life they are incredibly proud of and having them feel self-expressed, free and fulfilled. And if you are in that game, the truth helps get you there. Often, until you tell the truth, things do not move forward.
So consider an area that you are stuck in your life, and ask yourself…where am I not telling the truth? What am I not saying? What am I holding onto? Where am I acting one way with a person or in a situation but I really feel or think another way? And if you are up for it, grab those butterflies in your stomach and start telling the truth. And telling the truth may have some real consequences that you are not happy with…for example you might tell your spouse about your dissatisfaction with something and he/she may be upset, hurt or angry. I am not saying telling the truth is always easy, but I am saying that I believe it is a key component to living a self-expressed life that flows and grows.
A colleague of ours Deborah King wrote a great new book about the importance of the Truth called Truth Heals. Check it out.